OMG !

Wow! I've had a few interesting days. Not good ones ;) But When It Rains IT Pours ;) I might be busy but that no excuse to not blog ;) So here are some funny jokes I got by email, enjoy Ya'll! :)

Dave

--
...... from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it
shall be
remembered --- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he
today that
sheds his blood with me shall be my brother - Shakespeare


In line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts
like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.


It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper
than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart .

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow . Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart."


That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He
deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

T hank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

Anything Is Possible

Hi Bloggerland, What up ya’ll! I been really busy lately helping Playstation All The Time Dad with his Business. Well I’m back ya’ll!

This post is dedicated to my friends at Positive Reps yahoo groups. Missy stared this group to motive us reps, by sending inspirational emails. We share quotes, stories, and even funny videos.

My cousin, ZenaWarpr, sent me this video in an email today. This is too funny, and Ellen makes it even funnier. LOL

This is an actual product being sold! It's called the Hawaii Chair, and you are supposed to be able to exercise and go about your normal business while using it. This will go to show you, that if you put your heart and soul into something you will succeed! The 1^st video is the infomercial and then I have the video of Ellen trying out in her show. Ok bloggerland go out there and make your dreams come true, cause this inventor did LOL. Now I don’t know how good my back will feel after trying it. ;).

Click to join PositiveReps

Some more of Ellen with infomercial products! You’re just too funny Ellen!

:)

Bloggerland! :)I found this video on Stage6 This is a funny video about organic foods With a Star Wars Theme. I show it to my kids and they loved it. Ok if this video is approved by my kids it's good, so I'm going to email it to my kids teachers. This is a good way to educate kids on organic food, I know my kids wouldn't forget this video. :) So blogger enjoy and show it to your kids! ;)




Store Wars - Join the Organic Rebellion!

Men are like....

Bloggerland! :) Here's an email my oh so beautiful, smart and sexy cuz, Areshock sent me. Bloggers I'm the luckest Angelmom ever to have such a thoughtful family. When I'm down, one of my many cuz will bring me up in an email. LMSO or yours ;)
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like..Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like.. Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like.. Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like.. Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like.. Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like.. Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like .Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like.. Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like.. Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like.. Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like.. Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Over Worked & Underpaid

Hi bloggerland! Here’s another funny story two cousins sent me. LOL

THIS SHOULD END ALL 3 BEARS STORIES.......


Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the
table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.


Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He
looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. ' Who's been eating my
Porridge?" he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the
kitchen and yells, "For Christ's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter
box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence---listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time: ,

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE F**KING PORRIDGE YET!!"

Ok Mama Bear I’m soooooooo feeling you! In Mommy world you never do enough. I’m the housekeep, babysitter, Gardner, Plummer, driver, organize, cook, hairstylist, baker, dog groomer……….. To name a few! But I wouldn’t trade my life in for any thing in the world. Go figure ; )

Exposing the internet scum... So Funny ;)

Hi bloggers, hope all is well in bloggerland. I'm going nuts, like usual. Well I'm on crutches and the demanding household is more demanding then ever! The boys are having loads of fun. ;) I'm trying to keep my mind off all the craziness. Reading other people's blogs is so much fun and interesting. I found this blog and I though it was so funny. I just had to share. This blogger has a great blog, my fellow women blogger enjoy.



Exposing the internet scum...
From cheaters to losers to downright freaks...a blog on the web's worst.

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