GOD Can Help; Let Me Share How ;)

Hello Bloggerland! I just had one of those HA HA moments! WOW I feeling so good right now; it’s like my husband said one day " I just felt the Holy Spirit fill me!”

Last night I felt like I just couldn’t take it no more, no matter how much I tried. Nothing was working! I cried and I was crying with such a force that I let cried it all out. I thought to my self why! I’m doing everything you ask of me Lord! Why! I read books to help me be more knowledgeable, care for my children, inspire my husband to do right and tend to his need. I turn my cheek Lord, take care of myself, care for others, live a righteous life, live with You in my heart and give without expecting nothing in return. Why after all I’ve been thru………. Then I thought ok lord I trust you and I dried up my tears and went to bed. I woke up this morning and felt so drained but ok god I trust you, I know you’ll have the answer when I'm ready to receive it. So I pretended to be ok for my children’s sake.

Ok so why did I feel so helpless last night? Well let me tell you how wonderful my husband is. He has saved my life so many times. My struggles with the absence of my mother has been long and hard, and no matter how much I whined or took out my frustration on my husband. He was there for me! He is so strong, a thug on the outside, strong as a rock and a hustler, he will work himself to the bone just to provide for his family. He gives me so much love physical and emotionally. Now he’s not perfect; we have had to work at fixing each other out. A long 12 years together, very long years, but I can say he learned to give me what I need. He has become my prince in shinning armor. I am so very proud of him. 

Last night when he came home from working out of town, something was not right. My husband was not himself, I felt that his faith; that faith that pulled me thru all that pain was not there. My heart just sunk!……. I never thought I could see him like this, never. I didn’t know what to do. I had a hot bath for him, had one of his favorite meal for him. I guess I wasn’t helping, I just do not  know how to help him.( He’s the one that does that!) He just blew up!

He work so hard to start his own business bloggers, he worked his tail off. He made it thru the recession. he gave up his house, the first thing that he ever accomplish. He even made it thru high gas prices! Then one day the man he called Friend, Uncle T  just took his machine from him.

My husband was in and out of jail since he was 16. He make it thru the system, and changed his life around! He became a good, caring friend; a great father, a son a mother can be proud of, the husband I dreamed of; and a mentor to the youth of his formal world. A very hard working husband, here’s an example of what I mean; he been working out of town but this week it’s been especially hard. when he went to work on Monday, he didn’t get his premium(that is money a employer give his employee for food since he’s working out of town). He didn't bring money with him because he didn’t get paid last week and had to leave money for his kids too eat. Well he didn’t eat that well all week and for 235 pound 6 foot 3 inch man; who’s lifting rods all day and has high blood pressure, well you get. Ok so he come home on Friday after busting his A** all week. Then has to go pick up a part for his boss Friday night, didn’t get paid yet. He’s get back at 9pm spends time with his kids. I being a pain because I don’t think it fair. He wakes up at 6am and goes back to work an hour away. Then gets home at 10pm, spend some time with his kids. He carries Bat His Eyes and Make You Melt  to bed. He still worried about money because he only got paid for one week. WoW can you blame him if  he’s lost the faith Lord. When he did I lost my heart. 

I prayed my heart out and remembered that God is carrying me. He will show me the way.  Why did he lose what he deserved more than anyone I know.

That haha moment was the answer. God guided me to a program on TV. This women spoke in language that I could relate too, from Shella  J Ministries.  I think it was Shella but I can say for sure.

”If I give it to you then you will give it to them” “They want to drain your power” She said

What she meant was that you must work aside God fearing people. You must surround yourself with positive people that are going down God’s road. That are not only thinking about themselves but about other. Now I’m not saying that Uncle T is a bad person; he had a very wonderful mother ( R.I.P) who taught him God’s ways but I do think that he too has lost his way.  So God didn’t want my husband to give to him anymore of his hard work or maybe when he lost his way it trickled down the rope. Well anyway you want to put it, It Not His Time Yet! God doesn’t think he’s ready. Ok Lord but I’m ready to give, give and give until his HAHA moment. I will stand by my Man just as he did me.

So that's why I’m writing in this blog tonight at 1:30 am, while it’s fresh in my mind!

We are all going thru hard times now so Lord please pray for us, my friends, my family and even Uncle T. Help us to not forget that we all must give to receive, no matter how hard it get. Helps us not to forget that we must put You first Lord! That no matter how hard things get or how much we may lose that we mush follow your road Lord!

I still have more question I need answered Lord. I be waiting patiently because I believe You love Me Lord and I BELIEVE IN YOU LORD!!! I surrender to you oh Lard!