Playing For Change!Peace Through Music!

Posting some Love to Ya out there in Bloggerland :) Peace ! Lets all pray for it and help make it happen ;)

http://playingforchange.com - From the award-winning documentary, "Playing For Change: Peace Through Music" Join the Movement to help build schools, connect students, and inspire communities in need through music.

Mommy’s Special Little Touches

As a child my world seemed very exciting, well from the outside. My cousin wish they were me, and I wish I were them. It’s funny thinking back; I didn't get along with them. That is why, simple to the point. I had everything I “wanted”; toys, clothes, big yard and a big house to play in with a pool. They had what I wanted a Mom at home. I went to the best schools in Long Island, rode in a fancy car and play business owner in my parents stores. None of that mattered to me! I was so lonely in that big house, just me and my Nanny/housekeeper. The first Nanny was the best, she truly cared about me. Then came the rest paid to do their jobs and the house was their main priority. No one cared if I came home in a bad mood or show me anyway they cared. My parents were to busy working night and day to make the money pot grow. My mother is very successful, she lives very comfortable life and hard work made that happen. As for me I look back and wonder if she ever realized how lonely I was.

Today I try my very best to show my kids how much they mean to me. I try to give them my special little touches. Yesterday it was really cold out here, so I warmed up their uniforms in the dryer. I called them to come in a hurry and ya should of seen their faces, they love it. It seamed like they won a million dollar. I want them to remember me in a loving way, so when they dry their clothes in collage and put them on warm. They will have a warm feeling in their heart as well. Mommy’s special little touches memories will put a smile on their face. Someday they will read my blog and make a special memory in my grandchild heart. I live in their hearts too and forever in their children hearts and in their children’s children hearts………….

Are You Living Or Are You Existing

I just finish watching the movie The Family That Preys Together. Hum, I think that Tyler Perry is a great writer, I hope that he never forgets where he came from. We all forget sometimes that we are human and tend to be selfish too. I am no better than anyone, I’m just me. I think I’m harder on myself that anyone in my life and that’s because of my pass. I am making an excuse and it is just the truth. When someone attacks me, I fight with all my might.

No ones prefect and I think God intended it to be that why. Jesus wasn’t perfect, then why should we. Someone very kind too me said one day that someone will always find a fault in you. Boy was she right ( Laugh Out Loud). I saw the movie Redemption - The Stan, I’ll never forget what the main character said. I tend to forget a lot ;)  like his name :) He said that it’s hard to be good, it’s easy to be bad. Now Tyler Perry enlightens me once more in this movie with the words Are you living or are you existing. I lived my whole life trying so hard to be perfect for the one person that I thought counted, my mother. when I didn’t succeed, I would self destruct because in my child like eyes she was the picture of perfection. I guess in every child eyes the mother is perfection. * I smile*

My children love me so much but they are human (like Tyler Perry reminds us). They have feeling, dreams and their own lives, we must raise them to the best of your capacity. We must love them when they are bad and be tough because we love them.  (Madea comes to mind) :)  Remembering that we are not the only people that will influence them. Then we must set them free, well one day. Hope they learned what we taught them. We must aloud them to be special and point out their faults, and yes we must sacrifice. Only as much as we have to, not so much that we live our life in regret.

I remember the love in my childhood, I don’t remember the speeches or the criticism. I remember someone guiding me in a loving way but I don’t remember any blithering. I remember the pain it caused me, that is fresh in my mind. I endured so many mistake because of it. It pains me to even look back. I was bless with many people in my life. I think  they knew and they wanted to help. My suffering was so great that no love could conquer it. Only love for myself could and that was a hard road to follow. ;)

I have so much to learn and I am so bless to have discovered this now. I hope my children one day read my blogs and learn from them. I hope that one day they too will find peace in their hearts. That they will try hard to live a full life. Until then;

I’ll read books, see inspirational work by wonderful artist like Tyler Perry.

I will write in my blog about things that move me, powerful or silly.

I will live life and discover new things, theories, people and feelings.

I going to try to live a little more everyday.

Love a little more everyday and share a little more each day.

Bake cookies for my children or make Valentines Day special for them.

* I smile again*

Let them sit on my bed and watch movies with them.

Take them to the park and play on the swing set with them. * smile a lot now* I thinking of how much they love that, even thought I don’t fit in the the slide ( Laugh Out Loud).

Write my husband a letter or in my blog how special he is and how proud I am of him. I said I’m not  perfect; it’s easier for me to write what I feel. ;) 

Tell my cousins how much I love them even if they don’t believe it or think I’m being silly.

Praising a friend that deserves it.

Taking time out to do the one thing that always makes me feel good, loving someone else.

Never forgetting that God put me here and he is who I answer too in the end. :)

 

 

                                        

Dumbest Cop Ever LMAO

Hi Bloggerland :)
I just had to blog this. Ok Bloggers, This is why you don't use drugs! Drug are bad for you, DUD. I can't believe these people did not get arrested. This video was had me laughing all morning. ;)

GOD Can Help; Let Me Share How ;)

Hello Bloggerland! I just had one of those HA HA moments! WOW I feeling so good right now; it’s like my husband said one day " I just felt the Holy Spirit fill me!”

Last night I felt like I just couldn’t take it no more, no matter how much I tried. Nothing was working! I cried and I was crying with such a force that I let cried it all out. I thought to my self why! I’m doing everything you ask of me Lord! Why! I read books to help me be more knowledgeable, care for my children, inspire my husband to do right and tend to his need. I turn my cheek Lord, take care of myself, care for others, live a righteous life, live with You in my heart and give without expecting nothing in return. Why after all I’ve been thru………. Then I thought ok lord I trust you and I dried up my tears and went to bed. I woke up this morning and felt so drained but ok god I trust you, I know you’ll have the answer when I'm ready to receive it. So I pretended to be ok for my children’s sake.

Ok so why did I feel so helpless last night? Well let me tell you how wonderful my husband is. He has saved my life so many times. My struggles with the absence of my mother has been long and hard, and no matter how much I whined or took out my frustration on my husband. He was there for me! He is so strong, a thug on the outside, strong as a rock and a hustler, he will work himself to the bone just to provide for his family. He gives me so much love physical and emotionally. Now he’s not perfect; we have had to work at fixing each other out. A long 12 years together, very long years, but I can say he learned to give me what I need. He has become my prince in shinning armor. I am so very proud of him. 

Last night when he came home from working out of town, something was not right. My husband was not himself, I felt that his faith; that faith that pulled me thru all that pain was not there. My heart just sunk!……. I never thought I could see him like this, never. I didn’t know what to do. I had a hot bath for him, had one of his favorite meal for him. I guess I wasn’t helping, I just do not  know how to help him.( He’s the one that does that!) He just blew up!

He work so hard to start his own business bloggers, he worked his tail off. He made it thru the recession. he gave up his house, the first thing that he ever accomplish. He even made it thru high gas prices! Then one day the man he called Friend, Uncle T  just took his machine from him.

My husband was in and out of jail since he was 16. He make it thru the system, and changed his life around! He became a good, caring friend; a great father, a son a mother can be proud of, the husband I dreamed of; and a mentor to the youth of his formal world. A very hard working husband, here’s an example of what I mean; he been working out of town but this week it’s been especially hard. when he went to work on Monday, he didn’t get his premium(that is money a employer give his employee for food since he’s working out of town). He didn't bring money with him because he didn’t get paid last week and had to leave money for his kids too eat. Well he didn’t eat that well all week and for 235 pound 6 foot 3 inch man; who’s lifting rods all day and has high blood pressure, well you get. Ok so he come home on Friday after busting his A** all week. Then has to go pick up a part for his boss Friday night, didn’t get paid yet. He’s get back at 9pm spends time with his kids. I being a pain because I don’t think it fair. He wakes up at 6am and goes back to work an hour away. Then gets home at 10pm, spend some time with his kids. He carries Bat His Eyes and Make You Melt  to bed. He still worried about money because he only got paid for one week. WoW can you blame him if  he’s lost the faith Lord. When he did I lost my heart. 

I prayed my heart out and remembered that God is carrying me. He will show me the way.  Why did he lose what he deserved more than anyone I know.

That haha moment was the answer. God guided me to a program on TV. This women spoke in language that I could relate too, from Shella  J Ministries.  I think it was Shella but I can say for sure.

”If I give it to you then you will give it to them” “They want to drain your power” She said

What she meant was that you must work aside God fearing people. You must surround yourself with positive people that are going down God’s road. That are not only thinking about themselves but about other. Now I’m not saying that Uncle T is a bad person; he had a very wonderful mother ( R.I.P) who taught him God’s ways but I do think that he too has lost his way.  So God didn’t want my husband to give to him anymore of his hard work or maybe when he lost his way it trickled down the rope. Well anyway you want to put it, It Not His Time Yet! God doesn’t think he’s ready. Ok Lord but I’m ready to give, give and give until his HAHA moment. I will stand by my Man just as he did me.

So that's why I’m writing in this blog tonight at 1:30 am, while it’s fresh in my mind!

We are all going thru hard times now so Lord please pray for us, my friends, my family and even Uncle T. Help us to not forget that we all must give to receive, no matter how hard it get. Helps us not to forget that we must put You first Lord! That no matter how hard things get or how much we may lose that we mush follow your road Lord!

I still have more question I need answered Lord. I be waiting patiently because I believe You love Me Lord and I BELIEVE IN YOU LORD!!! I surrender to you oh Lard!

Let Do Something Positive Today ;)

Hi Bloggerland   Today I been thinking a lot about Bat His Eyes and Make Melt now 7 year old, youngest of the demanding household, he is such a blessing to my family! And to think he was not expected, lets say not planned. He suffers from a kidney disease and we have kept it under control with a special diet. Well I was reading Temptation by Mom-Blog on my Google Reader. It’s so nice to see such dedication from a Mom struggling with a child with special needs. Our children have your hearts in their hands and when you are faced with the probability that you could lose your child or your child my suffer; your world come crumbing down on you.

Bat His Eyes and Make Melt is a blessing in your home. From the moment I found out he could leave us, I became a better Mom. He lives life with such joy, it doesn’t even faze him that he’s sick. He get up every morning with a smile on his face and touches everyone he meets. Even when he can’t eat all the goodies that his brothers, sister, classmates or friends can eat. He just says ok and moves on. I can’t even stay on a diet, OMG chocolate is my sin. Not Bat His Eyes and Make Melt he values life and every moment it brings. I have not meet a special needs child that does not glow with life! When he gets sick, he filled with joy;

“ Mommy I get to see my doctor and go to my hospital”  he says. 

That's amazing that these children inspire so many people (Children hospital staffs, Doctor, Parent and anyone who helps) to give so much of themselves. They struggle everyday just to live and yet like my little angel can put a smile on his face and face the world. I can’t help it but it puts tears in my eyes.   I so proud of my little angel and I'm a better Mom, wife, friend…… just a better me because of him.

I want to help my fellow blogger and I did in a small way by taking action with Easter Seals to support families living with autism! If you are reading this just click the link, please. http://www.easterseals.com/actnow  It only takes a minute, just click, fill and send. Do something positive! Bat His Eyes and Make Melt is going to be thrilled when I read him my blog today! He loves to help and I love to see him smile too.